After gaining a more acceptable work-life-internet balance over the last few weeks, I have now decided to return to this. 

About a week ago, I sat at the top of a hill on Dunstable Downs reading The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. The sun was beginning to set, and there was a chill in the air. I watched the planes land at the bottom of the hill, and realised it was the most balanced and happy I had felt for a long time. Earlier that day I had taken photos, baked and written music, all the things I wanted to spend more time on. And now I was sitting alone at the end of a warm day, in a beautiful place, with a book. 

It was the beginning of a strange week, one which feels unusual because you’re thinking about someone, and then they text you, or turn up outside your workplace. People you haven’t seen in months, they suddenly reappear simultaneously, as though they know that for the first time in a while you’ve got some real free time. 

A few days later I sat in a pub in South London with a friend I haven’t seen in over a year, and watched seagulls swimming, and steam boats pass by on the river. It was good. I cycled home from the station in the dark, and ate pizza, feeling content that even with the passage of time, some friendships don’t fade as much as you thought they might have. 

Last night I was telling new friends about the brief period I was a sort of musician a few years ago. For the longest time I wanted to be a musician. For the last two years I’ve had writer’s block - I assumed I had lost whatever talent I may have had, and that it was over, that I should pick up and move on, find something else to be, or aspire to be. Until I started writing again a couple of weeks ago. Now I feel like much more is possible than I thought it was. I have been sharing music with these friends, making mix CDs, and appreciating music much more. 

I am coming to the end of this stage of my life. In 8 months I will be finishing my degree, and this week gone by has made me realise everything that is out there, that is open to me. I may not have any grand plans on what to do with the rest of my life - but I know that I can take some time, and in that time, at the very least there will be reading, baking, photography and music-making. 

Sometimes you just need to take a break. 

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