I was watching this video earlier, and it got me thinking about what I’ll think in 8 years time when I look back on what I’m doing now.
I suppose the beauty of the internet is that I can already look back on myself from quite a few years ago and see what I wrote then. I don’t know if the kind of things I write about now will determine anything about how I see myself when I’m 30.
I used to post a lot of song lyrics because I thought they explained how I felt better. I have no idea why on the 24th June 2006 I felt like my heart was being ripped out. This just makes me want to improve my methods of documentation. That’s all this is ever supposed to be. A method of documentation.
I have been drawing trees for the last six years. Mostly when I am bored. On my wall I have a large tree picture and a small tree picture. Both have girls on swings which are hanging off the lowest branch. In six years the way I draw trees has not changed. Neither have I learnt to draw anything else. I still love swings. I don’t think this is indicative of how my life is, but I suppose it might be.
If I read this in eight years time, I wonder if I’ll remember being happy. Or that I appreciate the way I’m doing my degree. In hindsight I’ll probably appreciate it, but at the moment I complain about it a lot, even though I don’t regret choosing to do it this way or resent it consuming a large part of my life. Well, only a small amount of resentment - and that’s just when I’d rather be baking.
Piano music makes me contemplative. At the moment I am listening to Phamie Gow, and have spent the last few days listening to Nils Frahm (who is excellent). I think I don’t spend enough time by myself without computers or phones, and that this has reduced the amount I think things over. I used to contemplate on matters of the world quite a lot. And listen to Audioslave…
It is indicative of how I am that I purchase new notebooks every time I feel like I have something new to say. I bought ones with world maps on the other week, and I’m still trying to work out what they are worthy of being filled with.
Pictures of trees?
